This past Sunday, my son and I attended something called Life Chain. It’s an annual event in which people stand to oppose abortion and support life. And I have to say, my little boy looked just adorable with his “I Love Babies” sign. However, not everyone agreed.
When I returned to my car, I found a note stuck to it that read, “Not your body, not your choice. Abortion is necessary.” On the back it was signed, “A Single Mom.”
I don’t know who this woman is, but I thought about her as I drove home. There were a lot of things that I wanted to tell her, so I wrote them down in a letter. She’ll probably never read it, but I’m hoping someone like her does.
Dear Single Mom,
I’m not sure how you knew which car was mine – if you lived in a neighboring house and saw my son and I arrive and pull our sign out; or if you took a wild guess that my car didn’t belong to the neighborhood and must belong some pro-lifers – or if you picked many cars at random to place notes on.
Whatever the case, Single Mom, I hope this message finds you.
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You see, it’s not been so long ago that I, too, was “pro-choice.” I said many, MANY times that no one has the right to tell me what to do with my body. I said some babies were better off aborted. I even said under certain circumstances, I’d abort my own baby.
I viewed motherhood and children as mere burdens to be avoided; that my life was for me and my enjoyment alone.
Oh how wrong I was!
It’s been a little more than ten years since my heart began to change. In that time, I’ve been privileged to work with children whom you support aborting – the unwanted, the disabled, the “societal burdens.” I came to understand their lives are indeed valuable; they do have a purpose on this Earth, and we all have a duty to care for them.
You probably noticed my son is much younger than ten. And I can tell you, Single Mom, that at the same time my heart was turning to protect the life of innocent children, I also was surprised with an entirely unplanned pregnancy. I was married at the time and yet when I saw that positive test, I went numb. I KNEW I’d be raising that child alone. I KNEW in the depths of my soul that this was the worst thing for the situation I was in.
In spite of that, the thought of getting rid of this problem never crossed my mind. Even though it took nearly my whole pregnancy to come to terms with the situation, I was always fiercely protective of this child – I always knew that he was innocent and did not ask for the heartache to come.
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And boy, did it come. The abuse escalated, as did the abandonment – more nights than I can count, I was left alone to care for a screaming baby, with the expectation that dinner would be prepared and lunch for the next day provided, all after having worked 10-12 hours outside the home myself. I was married, but living as a single mother, with no resources, no help, and no one I could trust.
Then I was just a single mother, living in fear of my ex, trying to keep my household afloat and take care of a toddler.
Single Mom, I DO know the hardships of unplanned pregnancies. I DO know the hardships of single motherhood. I DO know the hardships of taking care of fragile, disabled children, too. But I also know that absolutely none of them make it moral to kill an innocent child. Ever.
Your note, though, gave me pause. It tells me more about you than you realize. Single Mom, maybe you love your kids deeply but are struggling, wondering what life would be like if you had made different choices. If I knew who you were, I'd gladly and lovingly open my arms and heart to help you. I bet you cry yourself to sleep quite often.
But what that note really tells me is the fact that you took some precious moments away from your babies to make it known that "abortion is necessary," and I wonder if maybe you deeply resent your children instead. Do you wish your children were dead? Do you think you made the wrong "choice?" Or perhaps you've aborted one or more of your children, leaving the living ones without their siblings, and this is how you justify it.
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In any case, I see the hurt in these words.
Single Mom, please know that being against abortion doesn't mean that I've lived life in an ivory tower with a silver spoon. Many pro-lifers have faced extreme personal hardships; those experiences have solidified our position on abortion, our desire to save the babies, and help those in crisis.
Please remember that your children aren't just the product of your choice, but a gift given to you to protect and care for - being a mother is higher calling of self-sacrifice and virtue. Love your babies. Always.
And if you can't, please find someone who can.
I'll be praying for you.
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